Sometimes I’m amazed how many things can go wrong all at once. On a large scale there are recent devastating earthquakes, wars and violence, poverty, homelessness, and climate change. And then there is my life: After having lunch at a restaurant some time ago, as I returned to my car, I noticed that there appeared to be very little air in one of my front tires. When I arrived at the local gas station, I found two nails in the tire; two very different types of nails, less than half an inch apart from one another. At home I discovered that the furnace in my house wasn’t working. It made a very bad sound, providing me with images of a pending large explosion. When the PG&E repair man arrived, he got the furnace working, and then pointed out some rotting, broken boards on the small deck on the side of our house leading to the furnace. The bank called to tell me my account was overdrawn – I had made a mistake. There were dirty dishes in the sink, which no one in my house ever leaves, (I wish the burglars would clean up after themselves), we were out of toilet paper and my hip was hurting due to having very little cartilage.
I remember reading that according to an assistant to the Dalai Lama, in the Tibetan Buddhist tradition it is sometimes said that when many things go wrong at once it is because something special and beautiful is waiting to be born, waiting to emerge. Whatever is waiting to be born needs you to be distracted by all of these things going wrong, so that you don’t get in the way, so that it can emerge as beautiful as possible. I’ve been pondering this idea ever since: things waiting to be born, things going wrong, and getting out of the way.
I had lunch in Berkeley the other day with the CEO of a large successful company. He arrived nearly a half hour late because he had the date marked incorrectly on his calendar. When he arrived he apologized profusely, then recounted how many things seemed to be going wrong in his life. He was missing meetings, not responding to all his calls and emails, and in general there seemed to be an inordinate amount of things out of kilter in his life. This was unusual for him, since he usually is quite competent and conscientious. He said that he felt fortunate, with so many things not going well for him, that his business appeared to just operate nicely without him.
I told him the belief held by the Tibetan Buddhists about many things going wrong being related to something beautiful waiting to be born. I told him that these things going wrong are a way to distract you, to help you get out of your way. He rolled his eyes, with skepticism and disbelief. He told me he was unable to relate to these “new age” philosophies. He said to me, “Oh, that’s an interesting rationalization.”
When we completed our lunch and were getting up to leave the restaurant, he dropped his umbrella on the floor. When be bent over to pick it up, he knocked over a glass of water on our table, that splashed on the people sitting at the next table. He apologized profusely, as he tried to clean up some of the water that had spilled on the neighboring table and from the pants of the woman who had been sitting next to us. I knew that something really wonderful was about to happen in his life.
Several months later, I received a series of emails from this CEO that he had sent to a variety of friends in my business network as well as to me. His tone was more upbeat, friendly, outgoing and supportive then I had seen from his previous correspondence. His previous emails were opinionated and often cranky. These notes were generous and warm. Clearly, some kind of opening had occurred in this person’s heart.
Try this: Note or make a list of all the things that have gone wrong during the past days or weeks. Keep careful track of all these events. Then, think about, wonder and ponder – what is it that is waiting to be born; in what way to I need to get out of the way? What beautiful thing is waiting to be born, into my life?