Developing your own sense of agency or personal power may be one of the most important practices you can engage in order to lead more skillfully, maintain a healthier work/life balance, foster more effective communication, and nurture your most key relationships.
To clarify, I’m referring to power in a positive sense; I’m talking about your ability to make effective decisions, and to influence for the greater good.
Recognizing the importance of agency in this context is easy but have you ever thought about some of the ways you might be whittling away at this innate power? Considering the ways in which we give our power away can actually be strangely empowering (an interesting paradox!) and it can expose some useful insights.
I’ve asked this question of many individuals, and in a variety of contexts and settings, and some of the more common answers I’ve heard are:
– I say “yes” when I mean “no.”
– I rush from one thing to another, totally caught up in “busyness.”
– I overthink decisions, then overthink my overthinking.
– I underestimate my abilities.
– I don’t make clear requests or ask for help.
Asking ourselves this question and naming our own tendencies to give away our personal power heightens self-awareness. Shining the light on and noticing our actions, how we step into or out of our own personal agency, is a powerful mindfulness practice, and the starting point of mindful leadership.
As leaders, we can practice having more agency by:
Not avoiding conflict. Be real. Be vulnerable. Be courageous. Be willing to take a stance, especially when it feels difficult.
Being aware of busyness as a way of avoiding stress and anxiety. If we notice a pattern here, we need to make more space to do less.
Noticing our process of decision-making. Sometimes it’s better to ask for forgiveness rather than for permission. Try deciding more easily and see what happens.
Being more realistic about our competence. Explore turning doubts in possibilities by bringing an attitude of curiosity to everything you do and engage.
Depending more on others by making clear requests.
We are all searching for ways to find our true power – in our families, our relationships, our work, our identities, and in all parts of our lives. Our true power lies in stepping into our full authentic selves and having a positive influence on those we touch. In The Hero’s Journey, my online course with Insight Timer, I teach simple and highly practical ways to approach challenges and difficulties with greater clarity and ease, and ultimately, integrate your true power in all parts of your ordinary and extraordinary life. Check it out here.